Anti-Gay?

Jessica and I have always talked about how we want to give a deeper explanation of our views on homosexuality as Christians. Every time we see facebook posts, tweets, articles, and headlines on the subject the views are always exaggerated (as one should expect), and saturated in the belief that the marginal extremists hold the same opinions as the whole. But it wasn’t until the most recent chick-fil-a debacle that we decided maybe we could voice our thoughts and they might actually be helpful. This is not a defense of chick-fil-a. We don’t know Dan Cathy or the exact views he has. We don’t know every organization he gives money to: what they do, who the leadership is, what their views are, etc. But we are Christians, which is the title that Mr. Cathy and those non-profits share. We have the same bible. Interpretation of it can vary to multiple degrees, but the heart of God does not. This subject could be covered in a small book, so we’ll try to be as succinct as possible.

The following statements are what we hold as our beliefs as Christians based on our interpretation of the bible, our relationship with God, and our relationship experience in the world which is all guided by the Holy Spirit:

1. Christians are not anti-Gay or homophobic. Anti- means “opposed to.” We are not against or opposed to gay people. Gay people are not our enemies. A phobia is an irrational fear or aversion to something. We are not afraid of any LGBT people or homosexuality. However, the word homophobia has taken on a broader definition in our culture: negative feelings towards or hate of homosexuals. Those are untrue as well.

2. Christians believe that marriage is an invention of God. God created a man and a woman. He created them for each other’s joy, for each other’s help, for a way to see His love for us in a very specific relationship on earth. He created them for procreation. The bride and groom metaphor is the defining example of the relationship between Jesus and the body of Christians on earth. Because of those beliefs we don’t “see” gay people as being married to each other. We can see a civil union and contract of partnership. This affects taxes, insurance, medical rules, and a multitude of other legalities. But as far as the term “marriage” goes: the man/woman relationship representing the relationship between Christ and His Church; It’s not the same to us. What the government defines as marriage is not what a Christian defines as marriage - so whatever the government decides does not change what Christians believe. It is not that we are trying to discount relationships or show rudeness toward gay people, but it is that we have a specific definition of the word marriage that we get from the bible.

3. We believe homosexuality is a sin. Sins are the thoughts/actions of humans that cause separation between us and God. We believe they are not of God and only of evil. This is where the tension starts to build. And this is where the word “tolerance” starts to get overused and skewed (I’d like to expand on my feelings about “tolerance” in another post). Christians say homosexuality is a flaw that God can “fix”. This is what some of the organizations work towards and why many people have said that chick-fil-a supports “hate groups.” This will be very hard for a non-christian to ever understand, but the source of wanting to “free” people from homosexuality is LOVE. I will try and explain our view:

As Christians, the ultimate in life is communion with God. Sin cannot be in the presence of God. That is where Jesus comes in. He paid for our sin in His death on the cross, and by rising again he also gave us the power to rise from our physical deaths and live eternally with God. On earth, when people find out about this truth and turn to it as their life purpose they begin to move further from sin and closer to God (we call this sanctification). A simple example is an athlete: the more he/she practices - mistakes become fewer. Once a Christian realizes that the purpose of life is to be with God, and if they love people, then they truly want those people to have the same thing. The same with sharing favorite music, food, tv shows with friends - You want to share these things because you know it will benefit them to have it in their life. To want to “free” someone from homosexuality is the wrong way to think about it. The purpose is to connect someone with God, and as a result someone is freed from their sins.

An example: Say I have a dear friend that I love, and they are not a Christian. Because I love them I want them to know God more than anything. When they see the truth of God and trust in Jesus I am ecstatic for them. Then they start to move closer to God by the sanctifying of the Holy Spirit. They begin to see little lies, cheating, and treating people with disdain, etc in their lives and that it hinders their relationship with God. They’ve also always been gay, but as they move closer to God in reading scripture, prayer, and counsel with friends, they see that it also hinders their relationship with God. Albeit, in a deeper way because it is a constant identity, and not just specific actions in time. Over time, by the power of God, they either begin to see attractiveness in the opposite sex, or they simply decide to be celibate so as not to sin against God - because their relationship with God is more important than their own desires (desires of their flesh).

That is an example of what a Christian would say is being “freed” from homosexuality. It isn’t that we hate homosexuals and think they’re gross and want people to stop doing it so we can like them. It’s that we love them and want them to find joy in God and we know that sin blocks that.

As Christians we believe that we have desires of the flesh and desires of the Spirit. Desires of the flesh are the temptations that lead us to sin, whereas desires of the Spirit are the guidance by which God leads us in sanctification. A desire of the flesh/temptation is not sin unless it is acted upon. We are all born with different leanings and capacities for sin, and all of these are consequences of the fall. Whether it be the desire to steal, lie, engage in sexual immorality, or any other sinful desire. We believe homosexuality is just one of the many ways a person can sin in a sexually immoral way. It is no different than premarital sex, addiction to pornography, adultery, etc.

The ultimate issue is that the Christian belief says homosexuality is a sin, and is “wrong” before God. Yes, our bible says it. The root word for sexual sin in the bible is usually the greek word “pornea” which is a single word that includes all sexual activity other than sex between a married man and woman. So, even though the word “homosexual” may not be explicitly stated, it is very clearly implicitly stated. Here’s a dumb example: If one day extraterrestrials come to earth - a sexual relationship with them is sin against God, though that is obviously not explicitly stated in the bible.

We do not hate gay people. We love gay people. We do believe homosexuality is just one of many sins. If it comes off as hostile, intolerant, or anti-equality, then that is a backlash we face. Our allegiance is to our God and His word, and though we fail all the time we try to love all people the way that Jesus did.

Knox Ezekiel's Birth Story

This post is partially to share with all of you the story of Knox’s birth, but it’s mainly so that we can document the process while it is so fresh on our minds. Pregnancy had been a breeze. I loved it! I was able to work as a physical therapist with primarily young children until I was 39 weeks and 2 days. We had been waiting for what seemed like forever for my body to start going into labor. We were beginning to wonder if I would be pregnant indefinitely. It wasn’t even past my due date yet, but I had decided to stop working to rest in the days leading up to the birth. I expected the process to be similar to a marathon. They tell you to prepare for active labor to last 24 hours at least for your first baby. However, I didn’t want to waste my days off before Knox was here. Thankfully I was only off for 2 workdays before I had him! Praise God.

Days Before Knox's Arrival

It seems like Knox has been talked about and anticipated for a very long time via prayers, discussion, facebook, twitter, and instagram. He even has his own hashtag, #knoxezekiel, which has been used regularly by our close friends and family. One of our friends described it perfectly, it’s like he has been our imaginary friend all this time and now he’s real! People have been praying for Knox’s health and development, making and buying him beautiful gifts, and talking to him through my belly for months. This is one reason the end of my pregnancy seemed to last forever...we just wanted him out already to love and cuddle.

Knox Smiling in 3D at 34 Weeks

So that brings us to the weekend of May 25^th...I had gone to my OB on Wednesday the 23^rd to try and get things started via separating my water bag from the cervix. It is a natural way to try and encourage labor, but if your body wasn’t ready, it would do nothing. Apparently Knox wasn’t ready to leave the belly yet, because nothing happened. Billy and I went walking on San Antonio Street, our favorite street in San Marcos, almost every evening. We even tried walking stairs, driving the jeep over speed bumps, drinking a ton of Pregnancy tea, eating eggplant parmesan on our date night, eating pineapples, bouncing on a big ball, and other natural labor inducing activities. Ha-ha. But Knox was going to come on HIS terms, his and God’s, not ours. Nothing happened.

Heading out for last walk on San Antonio St.

Then finally...I began pre-labor symptoms on our estimated due date, May 27^th at 11pm. I had light cramping at regular intervals, but kept reading Mockingjay (which I have yet to finish). I finally woke up Billy to tell him at 2am; of course he kept asking me if I was sure and if this was REALLY happening. I called Tamara, our doula, who came over for a few hours in the middle of the night to try and help me get things progressing. We walked the streets of my neighborhood, tried using the breast pump, but contractions were just not increasing in intensity. Tamara went home to rest and I tried to sleep but couldn’t. The next morning we went to our OB appointment at 10am and I was dilated to 2 cm. We called CTMC to see about the birth tub room, but someone was using it; She didn’t end up using the tub so they asked if she would move. She initially agreed, but ended up staying in the room for her entire delivery, and so the room was unavailable. This terrified me since our entire birth plan was based around using the water to help with pain management. They told us they would call us when the room was ready. (They never did) We decided to labor as long as possible at our house. I kept eating like normal so that I would have energy for the marathon ahead. To help manage contractions I stood in a hot shower for about 2 hours. When I got out, the contractions started getting stronger. Billy came up to help me through them by speaking words of encouragement and putting heavy pressure through my low back while I sat on the ball and leaned on the bed.

May 28th Laboring at Home

At one point I felt a pop and figured my water had broken. I was sitting on the ball which kind of kept the water from gushing everywhere. Billy got me towels so we managed to not make a huge mess! After that I blacked out for a little bit. I assume it was from the pain of that contraction and a little panic from realizing things were about to begin moving fast. Billy called the hospital and told them we were on our way, with or without the tub room being available. When we got there the contractions were coming very close together. I had to stop walking multiple times on our way into the hospital and from the lobby to the room. When we got there, they told us the tub room would be ready in 5 minutes. What a relief! When we got to the room around 3pm I had to lie on a bed while they strapped monitors to my stomach, and read my vitals, and Knox’s, too. It was frustrating to wait through this while having really intense contractions. All I could think about was getting that part over with and getting into the tub. I was dilated to 4 cm when I got into the tub around 3:30pm. It was very soothing, like a hot tub, and I felt immediate relief. Tamara guided my vocalizations to be “low and open” so I hummed through the contractions. There were times I wanted to shriek in a high pitch because of the pain, but that would have been counter productive to the progress of my labor. At some points Billy, Tamara and I were all humming loudly together to help me stay on track.

Scripture hung on the wall behind the tub

We had created multiple playlists to play during labor, but we stuck with the calming songs by artists like Sigur Ros, Eddie Vedder, The Album Leaf, & Active Child. We also put up scripture on the wall to remind us why we chose this birth plan. The main verse to represent the labor was:

“But he said to me ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Billy reminded me multiple times during contractions, “He is strong in your weakness” and “this one is going to end” which was encouraging.

So I labored in the water for about 2.5 hours before Knox was born at 5:47pm. This was pretty fast for a first baby. My water broke a little before 3pm and I was holding him less than 3 hours later. I believe this was because we had no interventions to slow it down and I could feel what was going on. I pushed for 45 minutes before they placed my sweet baby boy on my chest. He was 8 lbs 6 oz, 19.25 inches long and had a full head of dark hair. He looked so HUGE, and I couldn’t believe he came out of me. The song that played when he was born was Hoppípolla by Sigur Ros, which translates to "jumping in puddles". How ironic that he was born into water, and that song randomly played on shuffle at the time of his birth. You know how people say that when you see your baby, the pain just disappears? It’s true. Even without pain meds or epidurals...it’s true. When it was over, I really didn’t know how the heck he got out of me. There were times when I thought, “There is no way he is ever going to come out”. Giving birth is equally physical, mental, and spiritual.

Right after they placed him on my chest in the tub

God gave me the strength and endurance to get through the entire process. He blessed me with the most supportive husband who kept telling me how much he loved me and was with me every step of the pregnancy and birth. He also allowed us to meet a wonderful local doula who did so much to educate and encourage us, guide our planning, help control my pain, and provide support after Knox was born. I so highly recommend using doulas, especially if you plan on pursuing a natural childbirth experience, but regardless they are great for putting your mind at ease and giving you confidence.

So that’s how it all went down. Now he’s here and we cannot fathom the love and joy that we feel. He is so perfect, a gift from above which we do not and will never deserve. 

Introducing Knox Ezekiel

Stationery card

View the entire collection of cards.





Born on May 28, 2012
Birth story to come!!

Merry Christmas from the Wells Family!

 

Picture This Christmas Card

Personalize your Christmas card at Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards

Photo Credit: Savannah Menchaca Photography

K . E . W .

Gender Confirmation: 15 Weeks

 

 

 

 

 

 

December 3^rd 2011 will be a day we remember forever! It has multiple special meanings in the history of Wells. Our sister, Savannah, turned 19, and we found out our little baby is a BOY!!! We’ve been waiting for this day for so long, and it’s finally here! The sonographer assured us that she was 100% certain, and he just loved showing off his man parts on the screen. 

Some friends who came over to celebrate! 

 

 

 

 

Billy decided that his first son would be named Knox when he was in 7^th grade. What kind of 7^th grade boy names his future children you ask? My husband! :) This is why we were made for each other. We are both cheesy romantics who enjoy spending hours discussing the possibilities of our future family. When we were immature teenagers dating in high school we had dreams of having a boy first, the older brother, protector of his siblings, and that his name would be Knox. You can ask any of our friends and they will tell you that we have talked about him as if he had already been conceived for years! Billy doesn’t remember how the name entered his thoughts or why exactly he loved it so much, but it stuck out to him and it stuck with him. I liked it because it sounded strong. It’s an English name (Billy’s descent), which means “from the small hill”. There’s no real significance in this, except that my belly is a small hill which he WILL be coming from! Haha Also, he will be from the hill country, the place we fell in love with while in college at TXST, and where we have made our home! 

Knox's Profile: 13 Weeks

His middle name is Ezekiel, after the great prophet who wrote one of our favorite passages in the bible: the valley of the dry bones. One of our favorite parts is Ezekiel 37:5-6 “Thus says the Lord GOD to these bones: Behold, I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. And I will lay sinews upon you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live, and you shall know that I am the LORD." This is one of our favorite images of God creating us physically and filling us with life spiritually. While we have been tracking our baby’s growth through ultrasounds and reading books, I have thought about these verses as God pieces together our son’s bones, adds muscles, organs, and skin and breathes life into him. Of course, the ultimate prayer is that he shall someday know the Lord. Ezekiel literally means “God will strengthen” in Hebrew...and you KNOW my baby boy best be strong.

So we are excited and impatiently waiting to welcome Knox Ezekiel Wells into the world on May 27^th, 2012. (tentatively)

13 Week Pictures: Savannah Menchaca's Photography

Good News :)

Family Photo

“As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything.” Ecclesiastes 11:5

Positive Test: 9-16-11

This verse is the perfect link between our last post and this one. If you haven’t read it, feel free to look back now. Long story short, I had a miscarriage 4 months ago, a thing that is not easily understood when looking at the will of God.  But He is perfect and knows exactly what He is doing...sovereign. This is why we worship Him, after all.  On September 16, we discovered that I was pregnant again! Our God is GOOD. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” James 1:17

The fortune cookie we opened at lunch after the appointment!

We have dreamt of this our entire lives. Together, we have dreamt since we were just dating. And now, it is really happening. The first time I was pregnant, it ended very early. We never were able to see a glimpse of the baby on ultrasound or hear its heartbeat. This time it has been different. We were able to see the baby and hear the heartbeat on 10.6.11! We didn’t tell people right away this time. It was our precious secret...that God had chosen to bless us with a miracle of a new life...even though we DO NOT deserve it. Our pastor, Jason, preached about it from Ephesians 2:1-10 this past Sunday (check it out here).  The part that blows me away is that even though we are born into sin and would choose sin over God, “...God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” This gift of a child is a tiny glimpse into the immeasurable riches to come as we continue following Christ. It has taken our breath away. We are so thankful.

It’s almost like this pregnancy has been even more drenched in prayer because of our previous loss. We like to believe that we would have been just as thankful and humbled by our first baby’s development, but we can’t be sure. This time around every day moving forward is a blessing. Every tiny twinge of pain and wave of nausea brings joy. It is a reassurance of growth. We are following our baby’s development on an app on our phones so that we can pray for his or her growth very specifically. We would love if you would join us in praying Psalm 139:13-17 over our baby: “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.  How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!” 

We know that it makes us vulnerable by sharing the news so early—today I am 7 weeks. However, we are choosing to share so that more can pray and because we are at peace knowing that God has total control. This is HIS baby.  We are just excited to be the ones who He is allowing to love this little cashew looking embryo and teach him or her about His love for them so that one day they will join us in living for the soul purpose of furthering His kingdom. Baby Wells is due May 27, 2012.

Hallelujah!  

The Wells’

Taking the Bad with the Good

Bollinger and Guenther Girls

I love babies. (this is Billy) Little girls are my greatest weakness. I can’t wait to have kids. I’m not shy about it, either, and it usually surprises people. Much like most little girls, when I was a little boy I thought about what my family would be like when I was a husband and a Dad. Having a family was my biggest dream. Sure, I dreamed about sports, writing the next Harry Potter, and other exotic life paths, but I was pretty realistic, and mostly dreamed about any job that gave me the ability to support my wife and kids. I even had a name for my first son set in stone in 7^th grade. I wrote it down, and Jess and I plan for our first baby boy to have that name. So, yes, I can’t wait to have kids (biologically and through adoption), and after falling in love with Jessica so that I now have a person to experience kids with - my desire for growing a family has risen exponentially. I’m 23. Jess and I started “not trying not to get pregnant” while I was still 22. In our culture this is young and that is what surprises people. They tell us we need to live life – that we need to experience things – that there’s so much we haven’t seen, and maybe I understand where they’re coming from, but seriously, my idea of “living life” is sharing that life with little sponges that I get to show, and teach, and love. I want to experience family more than anything else I can think of. I want to travel, experience new things, and see new places, and get to share that with my wife and babies. When I talk like this around most people my age it weirds them out. Our friends that know us well understand. We finished college fast, got married young, bought a house young, and want kids now. That’s just how it is. There’s many, many reasons Jess and I are soul mates, and this desire for children is just one of them – it actually freaks me out HOW MANY things we have exactly the same thoughts about. So, long story short, Jess and I have been trying to get pregnant. I like when it’s said like that because I like the idea that I get pregnant, too. It’s funny.

Wheelock Babies

Elliana Rose

Back in May, Jessica came down stairs and showed me a positive pregnancy test. You can’t imagine my joy. We agreed not to go crazy telling people because we know the risks in the beginning, and didn’t want to potentially have to announce the bad news later. Joy is contagious. We couldn’t NOT tell, and we ended up letting a few people know. Everyone was happy. Some annoying doctor’s visits and bad customer service later it happened. It was a Sunday. Jessica had a miscarriage. I had heard of people having them, but never thought, in any real way, that it would happen to us. Even though we’d never heard a heartbeat, and were barely into it (maybe 4 weeks or so) the sadness I felt was overwhelming.  Our first ever creation together, the thing we had both longed for for so long, just died. And for the first time in my 23 years I understood how hard it is to trust that the will of God is perfect, and that He will work all things for good. We have worked through it. We’re not sad anymore, but it doesn’t mean we’ll ever understand. We just trust. That’s what faith is. After a while I felt selfish. I was so worked up about this miscarriage because it was MINE, and it made me realize that my heart doesn’t hurt enough for the rest of the pain in the world – the kids starving, abused, dying everyday, and every other consequence of sin’s stain on the earth. Thankfully, it was as early as it was. Thankfully, we were less attached than we could have been. Thankfully, the whole process of it for Jess was actually as easy as it could possibly be. We can use these things to ease our pain, maybe try to sugar coat it, but when you get down to it, it can never be a GOOD thing. We’ll always have the memory. There is no perfect way to handle it, but it’s a chance for us to lean a little harder in to God. We get to walk in the “perfect understanding isn’t a prerequisite for faith in God” posture. We have a different perspective. When thinking about “living life and experiencing new things” that people long for, maybe they forget that you have to take the bad with the good. In times of pain Job would probably have the best wisdom, “Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” (Job 2:10) We’ve experienced more now in our life together. We’ll never be entirely ready for what is to come, but God is teaching us, and we’re trying our best to follow Him. 

+Billy

A flower Jess got from Camille the day she found out she was pregnant.